www.selfmotivatedmomma.com
I always considered myself to be a pretty tough cookie. I have never been one for chick flicks and love ferns. I didn't cry but once at my wedding. I don't do "Sweetie" and "Hun" cause people have names... and unless you receive text messages from me once a week or "like" my daily instagram uploads, don't hug me. I'm big on personal space. Hugging and rubbing is for death beds and catholic priests.
I don't know if it's the baby, the hormones, the lack of sleep, or the fact that I spend my days talking to someone that never talks back to me, but I have recently found myself becoming a big softy. I cry over EVERYTHING!!! What is with these commercials during the olympics? All these athletes, and how their moms contributions got them to Olympic Gold!?!? I tear up wondering if little SJ will ever be thanking his mom, for his medals. I don't know what is sadder... the commercials or the fact that my poor son is gonna end up on the mat with gymnasts. We will be lucky if the kid breaks 5'6" on a good day.
I am also having a mental tug of war on going back to work. There is option A) Stay at home with my baby blues and hang out all day with a Teddy Bear that can't form one word, let alone a sentence. Become a professional food source, laundry folder and back yard tanner. Or... Option B) Go back to my job that I loved so much, pay a small fortune for a nanny and spend the next 6 months of my life hooked up to a breast pump. Sounds like I have bad news and bad news. I know a lot of women would die for the option to not have to work. Believe me when I say I am so great full that my husband supports this, but I'm not totally convinced that "stay at home mom" is the dream job I always wanted.
But then... I smell it... The top of his little head in the morning, when I pull him out of his crib... The giggles I get when I raspberry his sticky neck... The first moment he rolls over or finds his new voices and sounds... The way my heart breaks when he is wailing over his first tooth or his second round of shots... And the best feeling of all that never seems to get old no matter how sore my neck and my back are... The feeling of him falling asleep in my arms. The weight of his innocent little world draping over my shoulders.
Sure... I get the baby blues like everybody else. I cry sometimes cause Instagram and facebook are the closest thing I get to a social life. But my little man is the biggest life sacrifice I have ever made. I know when he is all grown up and making the world a better place, the hard times will all be worth it!
Laugh, Cry, Love, Read.
Me
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