Home is where the heart is...

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Letting go... It s an incredible concept. It can mean so many things to so many different people. You always know that becoming a parent is going to change your life, but you never really comprehend how much, until you are 6 feet deep in quicksand. The more you struggle to get out... the more you sink. You are better off to just succumb and accept. The less you fight your forever changed life... the easier parenting is.

 It was a new kind of Christmas and new kind of New Years. We decided to stay in with a bunch of our close friends, some board games, some babies, some beers and our private dancer...

 Magic Mike....

 We had great attempts in 2012 to hold onto our pre baby selves....
I think its about embracing it and just letting go....

Holiday traveling is like working out with a personal trainer... The outcome is totally worth it, but the entire time you just want to punch someone in the face. Though the trek to Canada was TOTALLY worth it... We may not be going home for Christmas again till SJ has his drivers license.

Everyone knows traveling with Children is about as much fun as getting waxed... Painful is actually a better way to describe it. Extra luggage, extra layers, missed naps, sippy cups and filthy pacifiers. Who has the energy to wipe them off every time they hit the ground? 

I'm not a big person... I am 5"3 and weigh 118lbs.  You would never know it... You see...

I carry myself at about 6ft 220lbs. I am also a Scorpio... which only adds to my fiery little temper. We Scorpios say what's on our mind and on our flight home to Canada Christmas morning, my fuse was about as long as a toothpick. 

SJ did pretty awesome on both flights... But there is always that asshole that hates children... 

There was a nice family in front of us heading up to Whistler, so they had quite a bit of extra luggage and snowboarding gear. They needed an extra minute to pull down their overhead luggage and gather their kids while everyone was packing up to leave the plane. A grumpy old man was trying to push through, so he could get off the plane first.  He was literally pushing himself through people and this poor mother trying to organize her family. The woman was to polite to ask him to step back.

I'm not... So I did... 

"Excuse me sir"... (hey f*cker)... "Do you know how hard it is to travel with children?"... (Obviously not, you are a miserable troll)... "Can you please step back, she is trying to gather her luggage and her family"... (Back the F off of her before I take my sons regurgitated burp cloth and smother your face with it)... "It is really hard to travel with kids and you are not going to get off the plane any faster than the rest of us"... 

The woman kindly thanked me for addressing Eboneiser Scrooge and the dude behind me gave me a low five as we were getting off the plane. It is moments like this, I am proud to be a 6 foot 220 pound Scorpio. I have the courage to stand up for people when others will not.

There have been many moments over the last three weeks that I have realized our cocktail hours and jet setting days are numbered...

 Every time Scot would come visit me in Vancouver we would always go for a romantical walk and a glass of wine at our favorite spot... Granville Island. It's is a beautiful waterfront market, full of art galleries, music venues, coffee shops, fresh seafood and great Canadian Culture. Sandbar is our favorite restaurant and it has a beautiful lounge with a fireplace and couch looking over the Vancouver skyline.

We decided to go share a glass of wine together with the baby. 

What a terrible idea.

As we headed toward the lounge to seat ourselves, the prepubescent hostess came walking over. "Excuse me... But you can't sit here with a baby. You can sit anywhere on the left side of the restaurant. We are happy to accommodate children in the dinning area... Will you be needing crayons?".

I'm not sure what bothered me more... The fact that we were being kicked out of the lounge or the fact that the hostess was dumb enough to offer crayons to our 8 month old baby, like he is going to know what to do with them.

Crayons? How about I take those crayons and shove them up your.... 

"No problem"... Scot says to the hostess. 

"Baby... just let it go..." Scot says to me.

So I did. We sat down at a little two top and ordered a couple glasses of wine. SJ had been super calm all day so we figured we were in the clear. Not so much. He wasn't having it. He started screaming. Not the unhappy scream... The I found my voice scream. The phase where everything that comes out is a loud scream. The express yourself scream and man was he expressing himself. EVERYONE was staring at us trying to contain our hopped up child. We were THAT couple.... I realize in this moment it's officially over, and the next time we go out for dinner, the venue is most likely going to have a ball pit.

Having not touched our wine, we decided to give up and take SJ home. I walked up to the two women behind us enjoying a lovely sophisticated lunch, and asked them if they would like our two glasses of wine. They were untouched and we didn't want them to go to waste. They happily took our offer and as I was reaching over to hand them the wine, SJ puked all over me and my brand new cashmere sweater dress that I got for Christmas. 

There I was... Holding a baby in a bar... Giving away my wine... Wearing cashmere... drenched in throw up... 

A pivotal life moment... The fork in the road that leads to proud parent bumper stickers and mini vans.

The Scots were both getting a kick out of this... Particularly SJ... He thought it was very funny that mommy was wearing his lunch.

I did not... 

Until Scot grabbed my hand as we were walking to the car and says to me...

"So life has changed... It has gotten a little more difficult and a little less romantic... But baby no matter how hard it gets... We are a family now and there is now where else I would rather be than with our baby and you... covered in his barf." 

I smiled. 

Pretty sure that is as romantic as it gets.

2013 is definitely a new year. No fancy New Years plans... No jet setting or cocktailing... No sexy clothes or high heel shoes. No big trips or travel plans... But who needs to leave home when everything you need is through your front door?

Home is where my heart is... and it took me a lot of soul searching, inner peace, 

confidence and acceptance, to realize it.

Laugh, Cry, Love, Read.

Me