It's like babies have a sick sense of when you are desperate to just get shit done. We will have a great couple of days. Good sleeping, playtime, jogs, errands and BOOM! I am strong armed by an infant. You think your gonna put me down in this bouncer? Think again mommy! I am gonna make you hold me ALL day long! That 5 minute shower you are taking... I am gonna make it extra relaxing and scream the whole time you are in there. And don't you even THINK about moisturizer mommy! That shit is for fancy ladies that wear make-up and blow dry their hair too. I decided as your baby, you don't need it.
Why do we even have nursery's? My baby will sleep anywhere but his crib! Sure we try napping in it, but over night? HA! That comfy chest of mine is a much better idea. Your boobs don't just get bigger to feed. They are pillows for our babies newborn little heads to rest on as well. It will be like a sleepover every night mommy and we can watch daddy sleep soundly next to us cause somehow, some way... He never wakes the F up!!!!! How!?!?! How do men sleep through this!?!?!?
The bassinet is 5cm from the edge of my bed. But for some reason 5cm is just to much distance for my baby to handle. And how do they always sleep with one eye open?!?!? It's like they are looking, watching, waiting.... We tip toe around them trying not to make a peep and then... There goes the other eyeball. The little shit is awake. Sleep training?!??? LMAO! Baby Wise wants me to wake my new born up every two hours?!?!? What mental person wakes a sleeping baby? How about I take five minutes and eat sitting down instead a-holes! I want to meet these women that claim their babies sleep through the night. Then I want to know where they live, so I can leave a flaming hot pile of dog poo on their front door step. (Mary if you are reading this... I love you).
People wonder how I have time to blog. I have an IPhone in my hand, a rocking chair and a baby that doesn't want to sleep anywhere but on my boob.
I have all the time in the world.
Laugh, Cry, Love, Read
The Hermit
I too blogged from the breast. Who knew that getting one, just one thing done in a day would be so difficult...we're at 7 months now and I have to say it gets easier. The super intenseness fades a little and suddenly they can entertain themselves for 15 mins. A miracle!
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