Yogi Baby

Manhattan Beach coined the phrase "Yummy Mommy". Never will you see so many young gorgeous moms, clad in lululemon, uggs and 3 carat diamond rings on their fingers, as you will in Manhattan Beach California.

I have recently started going to a Mommy & Me Yoga class, at one of my fav studio's called The Green Yogi. Moms in Manhattan are like the Mercedes of child care. They are absolutely flawless. They have all the bells and whistles, and they have more "drive" for fitness then Jane Fonda in her gloriest of glory days! These women are not human. They have all had at least one child and they look better than a highschool cheer leading squad.

The instructor Chelsea Welch, who is also a Doula, is built like Malibu Barbie. She has gorgeous long legs, stunning blue eyes and golden skin that probably smells just like the ocean. The studio is brilliant! Let's put the hottest yogi we can find, in front of a bunch of post baby bodies and see if we can motivate. Worked for me. I should put a picture of Chelsea on my fridge as well, and maybe it will motivate me to stop eating ice cream every fucking day.

During the class we prop the babies up on bolsters, hold them up in warrior and even incorporate them into abdominal exercises. This one woman has an 8 month old that easily weighs almost 20 pounds. Warrior is hard enough to hold for three minutes, throw a 20 pound baby into the mix?!?!? These women are machines! I'm from Canada alright yummy mommies?!?!? Up in the great white north we embrace pregnancy weight gain like most normal people and continue to wear our maternity jeans till the child is at least 6 months old. This whole Manhattan Beach "Live Fast Die Fit" Shit is killing me. Forget keeping up with the Joneses. These women leave no room for excuses. They are back to a size zero within three weeks. I was never a size zero so I guess I am shit out of luck anyway.

This one mom, Wendy, who I am sure has angelic in her blood, looks like a greek goddess... and NOT the Big Fat Greek kind. She has long, sandy, flowing hair. Slim arms that reach out like willow tree branches and a tushy you could eat tapas off of. Her baby just chills sweetly underneath her during the whole class. He giggles and koo's at her while she gracefully flows from pose to pose. Its adorable. Meanwhile my baby, who gets terrible gas, is trying to grunt out a fart with his legs up in the air. Like mother like son... There is simply nothing to be done.

If it is good joo joo and motivation you are looking for ladies, go see my gals at the Green Yogi. They have super human yogi powers. They will whip your butt into shape, all while offering you peace, love, glowsticks and herbal tea.

Mom-aste!

Laugh, Cry, Love, Read